Do's and Don'ts to Successfully Navigate SIT Meetings

SIT Meetings in Hampton City Schools stand for Student Intervention Team Meetings. These meetings always take place after a parent-teacher conference has not been met with success. In these meetings, teachers and the school counselor address academic, behavioral, social, or emotional concerns. Once concerns are addressed and heard from all sides, we begin to explore interventions that could help students make improvements. A plan is put into place, and a follow-up meeting is scheduled approximately 6 weeks out. From then, it is determined whether edits should be made, or there is any need for SIT Meetings in the future.

If you're a new counselor like myself, the words "parent conference" or "SIT Meeting" may quite literally strike fear in your heart. It certainly did for me. Here are some do's and don'ts to get you started.

Do's:

1. DO focus on the positives initially.

My current site supervisor, Ms. Littleton told me that for every negative thing you plan to say about the child, you should start with two positives. Example: "Johnny is a very charming and sweet child, but he has issues focusing in certain subjects." Sometimes in the rush of trying to complete meetings during planning periods or lunchtimes, folks get right to the point. Which is fine, but you have to remember that we are discussing a child to the person who birthed them. While some parents are all too comfortable discussing their child's faults- others....well, you don't wanna awaken the sleeping mama bear.

2. DO have a conversation with teachers or IA's (Instructional Assistants) before the meeting.

If you expect a student to come prepared to school, parents should expect that you'll come prepared for the meeting. Do not wait until the 5 minutes before a parent arrives to discuss the presenting concern with a teacher. In the middle school/high school setting, you should have a discussion with ALL of their teachers about the issue. In an effort to save time, and well, shoe leather- email them all once the child has been nominated for a SIT meeting to find out their experiences with the child. That way when you come to the meeting, you will be ready for tip 3.

3. DO look up possible interventions before the meeting.

Since you're a fantastic counselor who obviously discussed the concern with all teachers who work with the student, you'll be ready before the meeting to look up possible interventions that could help. Be aware of what teachers are willing to do and capable of doing. In other words, don't be writing checks, folks butt's cant cash. ESPECIALLY when it is not your butt. As an intern I have a running list of possible interventions for students that range from low-prep to high prep. Low prep interventions involve small accommodations that don't require much pre-work for the teacher. High prep interventions will require intensive planning and possible changes to the student's daily plan.

Low prep intervention examples include: preferential seating, writing down homework assignments for students, reward plans, printed copies of notes for students, school counseling anytime passes, etc.

High prep intervention examples include: differentiated instructional techniques, small group lessons, graphic organizers, peer-assisted learning activities, daily behavioral charts, daily academic performance reports, etc.

4. DO listen to the parents or guardians.

I know it seems like a duh statement, but actually listen to the parent. Often times they can give insight about their children that can be extremely helpful. When discussing interventions certainly listen to their feelings on it. If a parent/guardian thinks the plan won't work- they're probably right. Listen to them.

In one or five of these SIT Meetings I've attended parents just want to be heard, sometimes that includes wanting to show frustration at their child's behavior. Parents have and do cry from time to time. Use those great counseling skills and encourage them to think positively and let them know together you will figure out how to help the student best.

5. DO send request for meetings weeks ahead of time, and call to confirm guardian attendance.

The bad thing about SIT Meetings is that HCS requires 6 weeks of the plan before they move on to higher tiered interventions- like child study. If say, the teacher nominated them in November (since it's almost all review until then), then you make the appointment and they don't show, that could elongate the process further. Weeks, maybe months depending on the parents' schedule. Now its in December. Mandatory 6 weeks of interventions to see if it works.. now you're at the end of January and the end of the first whole SEMESTER. Child study takes weeks too. At this point the student has lost almost an entire year without the intensive accommodations they may need.

When the SIT Meeting schedule is sent home to the student- follow up the next day or two and see if the parent can attend. Be accommodating. We want their participation. Transportation can be an issue for some parents. Find out if it is, contact the school social worker and find out if there are any resources to help get them there. If all avenues have been exhausted and transportation is an issue- do the conference via phone and send the paperwork home for the parent to sign. Do what YOU can to assist with barriers to parent participation.

Don'ts:

1. DON'T get emotional regardless of any hard lefts the conference is taking. They can smell your fear.

Sometimes parents will just be angry with the way their child's education is going. As adults, and counselors, we know some adults are bound to deflect their anger on the nearest target. Ahem, you. Do not freak out and do not take it personal. In these situations show humility and listen to the parent. If you've done something wrong, admit to that and apologize.

I had an experience at my last school where my site supervisor did all the talking during the meeting, but for whatever reason the guardians of the student took huge offense to the way my sleepy eyes looked and actually accused me of rolling my eyes at them. If I did, it was unintentional as I watched the stand off between the parents and my site supervisor (it was a HEATED meeting). If you know me personally you know if nothing, I have pride for days and hate admitting I'm wrong more than I hate Crocs. Know what I did? Apologized. Regardless. By the end of the meeting I had them laughing and apologetic. But humility is important when discussing something as pertinent as a child.

2. DON'T talk down to the parent and over-explain simple concepts.

By the middle school/high school level- this is not these parents' first rodeo. They know what a SIT Meeting is, and they know their purpose. Don't be a total newb and explain it to them. Focus on nonverbals, they will tell you whether or not something needs explaining. Furrowed brows, head scratches, or even a verbal "huh" can give them away.

It should go without saying but do not talk down to a parent. Period. I don't care what they've done in the past to you, the school, or even the child in question. It is your job to work with them now. Do your job.

3. DON'T start the meeting late or make the meeting run late.

All SIT Meetings should happen within 30 minutes. Parents, like you, have jobs that they either a) took time off to be here for b) work later shifts so you're cutting into their sleepy/relaxation time. Be considerate of their time. They don't want to use all their annual leave in your office. I guarantee it.

4. DON'T have a messy office come conference time.

I'll admit, at the elementary level sometimes your office becomes a disaster zone. One particularly rough day literally had my office covered in legos, Gooey Louie boogers, and scribbled bits of paper- chairs askew. This is not what you want a parent to be greeted by. Taking the 5-10 minutes needed to get your office together will work wonders. Keep the environment clean, comfortable, and inviting.

5. DON'T overwhelm the parent/guardian with too many at-home tasks.

From time to time, interventions will include a follow-up bit for parents at home. Rewards, fun outings, extra reading time, or additional practice homework. At the end of a hard day's work, parents don't want to come home and play teacher. If they did they probably would BE teachers, and even still they wouldn't want to come home and do it again. Maybe 2-3 ways parents can support their children from home will do. Don't go overboard. You'll have more push back than children being forced to come inside from recess on a nice day.

That's all for now guys!